I WAS on the bus today, and there was a woman in front of me reading a book. And it wasn’t That Book.
I was astonished. I took a closer, if still surreptitious, look, and determined that it wasn’t even a smutty book as the main characters appeared to be called Hilda and Pedro, and there is no way that they would be the names of people in smutty books.
It led me to ask people on Twitter if there were any other names which they would find difficult to accept in dirty books. And it turned out there were…
@Sara Priestley Edwina
@lola_spankcheek Gertrude, Percy and Fanny
@Er0_0 Boris, Beatrice
@1755Dictionary Marcel, Sebastian, Denzil, Belshazzar, Twyla, Hildagard.
@MrSamJohnstone Wenlock and Mandeville
@titianred Cecil, Tony Blair, Cliff
@joolzah Winifred and Melvyn
@auriablis Graham and Doris
@CheshireCaveman Max Mosley
@CatherineLawler Kevin, Ethel, Nigel, Barbara and Gary
@The_No_Show Brian Eno
@poeticsinBeta Boris Johnson
@jo_the_hat Nigel, Graham and Delia
@Thekjhandbook Eileen, Albert, Doreen, Colin
@mikiewoods Albert and Norma
@ejbreezenelmes Olwen, Dewi, Blodwyn, Pwll
@Strnks Charles, Camilla
@kaylawoi Gertrude, Beryl, Agnes
@SarahPinborough Brian, Enid, Nigel
@JosieTrav Marjorie, Pam
@Twistedlilkitty Mum and Dad
@M2comms Ethel, Wilbur
Then I worked out which names appeared most often – I could not count Boris and Boris Johnson, and Brian and Brian Eno as joint entries – and made a chart. Here is the chart…
Both @twistedlilkitty and @Shequeen made me laugh. But @twistedlilkitty wins because she made me laugh first and I make the rules.
Anyway, it is official. Gary is the name that most people would find difficult to accept in one of those books. I do not know how to process that information.