Sketch: Life Before Mobile Phones

INT. A BUSY BUS – DAY
 
A WHITE TEENAGE BOY GETS ON. HE’S CARRYING A LUDICROUSLY MASSIVE PILE OF EQUIPMENT. HE STRUGGLES DOWN BUS AND SITS ON BACK SEAT.
 
CAPTION: 1982

HE PICKS UP A MEGAPHONE AND SHOUTS ACROSS OTHER PASSENGERS TOWARDS THE WINDOW.

TEENAGE BOY:
It’s me. I’s on me way now, innit.

PASSENGERS TUT, SHUFFLE.

OUT OF THE WINDOW… A SECOND TEENAGE BOY WITH MEGAPHONE.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET CORNER – DAY

THE SECOND TEENAGE BOY IS SHOUTING THROUGH HIS MEGAPHONE

SECOND TEENAGE BOY:
It’s Lee. He’s on his way now, innit.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL, IN THE DISTANCE A THIRD TEENAGE BOY, ALSO SHOUTING THROUGH A MEGAPHONE.

THIRD TEENAGE BOY:
It’s Lee. He’s on . . .

CUT TO:

INT. BUS – DAY

TEENAGE BOY:
(STILL SHOUTING) Yeah. Laters.

HE PUTS DOWN MEGAPHONE. PASSENGERS RELAX. THE BUS STOPS.

A SWEATING, OUT-OF BREATH, MIDDLE-AGED MESSENGER JUMPS ONTO THE BUS. HE RUSHES UP TO TEENAGE BOY WITH A PIECE OF A4 PAPER.

PASSENGERS TUT AGAIN. TEENAGE BOY READS PAPER QUICKLY.


TEENAGE BOY:
Fool.


HE PICKS UP AN OLD-FASHIONED HEAVY MANUAL TYPEWRITER AND TALKS AS HE’S TYPING.


TEENAGE BOY:
M8 r u having a laff. LOL. i said 2nite “colon P”.


HE RIPS THE SHEET FROM THE TYPEWRITER AND HANDS IT TO THE MESSENGER. MESSENGER LEAPS OUT OF EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR.

SFX: SCREAMS AND SCREECHING BRAKES.

TEENAGE BOY PUTS DOWN THE TYPEWRITER. ALL IS CALM.

FAVOURING: ONE PASSENGER RELAXING AGAIN.

SFX: LOUD CRACKLY SOUND OF COLE PORTER’S CHEEK TO CHEEK.

PASSENGER ANGRILY TURNS ROUND.

TEENAGE BOY HAS AN OLD WIND-UP GRAMOPHONE, ITS TRUMPET IS PUSHING THE HEAD OF A SECOND PASSENGER AGAINST WINDOW.

TEENAGE BOY:
(TO PASSENGER) What?

 

END

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