The Man With One Brown Shoe

I HAVE a thing called plantar fasciitis. Doesn’t that sound horrible, like a flesh-eating bug? It is not that horrible, although I am not mad keen on it.

It is actually an inflammation of the tendons in my feet, which gives me a sore heel. They actually called it “policeman’s heel” before they decided it needed a sexy name with two Is next to each other. So I wear insoles, which support my arches, and tend to wear boots, which support my ankles.

Anyway, this morning, I picked up my brown boot, popped an insole inside, put it on, then was distracted by morning activities and kerfuffle. I came back a minute or two later, picked up another brown item of footwear, popped an insole inside, put it on and left the house.

I do remember I was limping a little as I walked to the bus stop, and then on my way to work, but I often do in the morning, thanks to my little condition.

It was just before 1pm when I popped to… well, I won’t go into detail, but I was standing next to another man and looking down, when I noticed that a seam appeared to have rubbed off one of my boots. “Seams don’t rub off,” I thought.

“Eep,” I said. One shouldn’t really say “Eep” in the location and position I had adopted, especially in company. I decided against explaining myself. Some things are better left unsaid.

I spent the rest of the day with my feet hidden away under my desk, so that nobody would see this…


I was wearing one brown boot and one brown shoe. Also, whenever I stood up I was lop-sided.

I am 40 next week, but I console myself with the fact I could just as easily have done this to myself 20 years ago.

One thought on “The Man With One Brown Shoe

  1. My borther in law did do this 20 years ago, but it was one black shoe and one brown shoe to a family do, not to work. He was late 20s at the time.

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