I had forgotten just how much fun Omegle could be. I am “You” and the stranger is “Stranger.”
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: so is dis twitter?
Stranger: twitter is stupid
You: so what is dis? is it like Bigchat?
Stranger: its a chat site
You: have I gone in the wrong room? This is just like when I did that thing that time
Stranger: thers no chat room
You: it is still the internets, yes?
Stranger: this is it
Stranger: yes correct
You: sometimes I imagine I am typing to people. But dis is real, yes?
Stranger: yees it is
You: that is what always is said.
You: say something I wouldnt expect you to say
Stranger: people r wierd on here
Stranger: ignore them
You: the voices?
Stranger: are u okay?
You: yes. The people making the typing.
Stranger: what ppl what are they saying
You: Hey! You have been totally fooled. See that little red light over your left shoulder? You’re on MTV! Smile!
Stranger: lol im a psych major i was worried
You: Oh. I think I might be talking to the wrong person.
You: This is a catastrophe. This is live!
You: They are never going to let me be on MTV now. My ride will never be pimped. And my crib will remain unblinged.
You: I will have to kiss goodbye to any thoughts of swigging a massive bottle of Cristal.
Stranger: im sorry lol
Stranger: i thought u were serious
You: It’s not your fault. You know if you see me on QVC, will you buy some worthless tat from me?
Stranger: lol huh
You: You know, some fake gold chains or something. A derby hat with sleeves.
You: Maybe a rock for your garden which sings Burt Bacharach songs.
Stranger: i dont boy random shit
You: Not even for me? But you have ruined my TV career. You could at least buy a full-size cardboard cutout of Jennifer Aniston from me.
You: I don’t know where you’d put it.
You: That is not my concern.
You: For example.
Stranger: well give me a hot boy one
You: Hey, can I do my stand-up routine for you?
You: Basically it involves me straightening my legs.
You: And rising from a sitting position.
You: Do you have a different stand-up routine?
Stranger: ur waiting 4 me to disconnect arent u
You: No. As you said, you are a psych major. I am starting to suspect that I have become one of your subjects.
You: You will probably write a report about me.
You: I hope you get an A, or whatever Americans get when they do well.
Stranger: thinkin about it lol
Stranger: you’d be perfect
You: Hey, you know that Sesame Street song about the alphabet?
Stranger: i do
You: It’s not so useful when you realise it can be sung using the lyrics KZVC/ PST/ AYHJNLMOG/ URX/ BQE/ WF/ I & D.
You: Try it.
Stranger: rather not
You: Go on. You can just do it in your head.
Stranger: no thanks
Your conversational partner has disconnected.