I overheard my colleague, Jane Clare (@claretsgirl), reading out her car registration number over the phone to a garage. She got to V and said “V for… erm… VERTIGO!”

I believe the NATO phonetic alphabet is horribly out of date. So I asked Twitter to come up with a new phonetic alphabet, suited for these times of fax machines and portable telephones. This is what they made…

A for Apathy (@marcpaterson)

B for Broken Britain (@nitsohara)

C for CBeebies (@jingscrivens)

D for Deception (@anfo_)

E for Emoticons (@talktoteens)

F for FFS (@thesimonevans)

G for Google (@MrsTrevithick)

H for Hacking (@MsLupin)

I for Innit (@JasonAtDavid)

J for Jeggings (@TOther_Simon)

K for Knob (@magmiffycent)

L for LOL (@sharonGOONer)

M for M.E. (@zanPHEE)

N for Narcolepsy (@Gary_Bainbridge)

O for OCD (@trixipie)

P for Psychology (@MrSamJohnstone)

Q for Quixotic (@davebromage)

R for Riots (@chuzzlit)

S for Sociopath (@graemelambmedia)

T for TARDIS (@jo_the_hat)

U for Uvula (@Maribeeb)

V for Vertigo (@claretsgirl)

W for WTF Dude??? (@The_Only_Doyle)

X for Xenophobia (@himwiththecyst)

Y for Ypsilandra (@dempster2000)

Z for Zig-a-zig-ah (@warren_bennett)

Others who were too slow, duplicated entries, or couldn’t spell Uri Geller were: @theglorymill @AlbionDumsday @Gargarin @dullardcostner @rach0907 @Aitch_ess @hannahlight @elizadolally @VenusDeMileage @scubashelley @northje @rhymeswithruler @FurryCanary @nirst @Cunthorse @have_some_toast @sbl76 @Shinybiscuit @ash_sportygeek @YatesOfTheYard @duncanrpowell

 

Thank you for your attention in this and other matters.